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Guys, it’s the day all the females of the world have been anxiously awaiting. Today Universal has dropped the first trailer for Fifty Shades Darker. So does it look any good? Just like everything else in this “stolen from a raunchy fanfic” franchise, kinda nope.

It looks like an episode of Days Of Our Lives. I’m pretty sure nobody in the movie wants to be in the movie.

Here’s the official synopsis

When a wounded Christian Grey tries to entice a cautious Ana Steele back into his life, she demands a new arrangement before she will give him another chance. As the two begin to build trust and find stability, shadowy figures from Christian’s past start to circle the couple, determined to destroy their hopes for a future together.

So… he has a jealous ex-girlfriend? Thrilling. It seems instead of glorious wang action, we are left asking many questions about what the eff is happening. Didn’t they break up in the last movie? What’s in the mystery box? Did anybody else notice the super creepy art display made entirely of HIDDEN CAMERA PAP-SNAPS OF ANNA WHAT THE HELL WHY IS SHE NOT MORE ALARMED AT THIS?screen-shot-2016-09-14-at-11-01-02-amAlso who is Miguel and why is he badly singing Beyoncé? We got one steamy shower scene (but she was wearing clothes? Why?) but here’s hoping there will at least be a decent shot of some D in the movie.screen-shot-2016-09-14-at-11-01-17-amAm I going to see it though? Heck yes, along with all the bored housewives and single AF ladies everywhere.

FIFTY SHADES DARKER  opens in Australia on February 9th 2017.

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