With the news of Big Trouble in Little China being remade, and the reboot of Ghostbusters being shot as we speak, we thought there is no better time to list of the worst remakes of all time.
CONAN THE BARBARIAN (2010)
Looks like Game of Thrones, plays out like that horrible Dungeons and Dragons movie from the late 90’s. James Momoa should stick to playing voiceless characters like Khal Drago, because god this guy is as exciting as a hang nail.
CLASH OF THE TITANS (2011)
This movie is pretty much summed up by my wife, within the first 15 minutes she was sound asleep. It was all downhill for Australian actor Sam Worthington after his success in Avatar, everything he touched seemed to turn to turd. It didn’t help that the movies he chose were just plain bad.
This instant bargain bin item stars Vince Vaughn in the role of Norman Bates in what could be his most hilarious role. This Gus Van Sant directed film is not only a remake it’s a shot for shot remake. Other than the horrible acting, it’s the exact same film. Why was it made?…$$$
When you think of the classic Robocop what comes to mind? Is it the outrageous gore, or the hilarious look at politics and technology made into satirical commericals, or was its just the fact the original had a type of camp, comic book characterization that could never be matched? Well this remake had none of that.
The new Robocop went with a M15+ rating and a stock standard look at the Iraq war with robots. They did give many hints that they knew what the original source was, with the return of the Silver Armour and the “I’d buy that for a dollar” references, but they lost all the charm and humour the original had.
TOTAL RECALL (2012)
Once again a movie that was made classic by Arnold Schwarzenegger is remade with horrible outcomes. While it bares the same name as the original, that’s the only thing that remains the same. Gone is Mars, Aliens, head exploding environments, and of course Arnold Schwarzenegger.
After watching the original I remember thinking “Are the adventures of Douglas Quaid actually happening or is it just the implant from Rekall playing with his mind?”. This Colin Farrell disaster shoved it in your face and said “this IS real”. Other than character names, this Total Recall remake makes you want to have a total lobotomy.
Other notable remakes of crapiness:
PLANET OF THE APES (2001)