We’re all guilty of occasionally making the wrong call when it comes to choosing a film to watch on date night. The multiplex can be a minefield when you’re completely at the whim of vague synopses and limited options on a cheap Tuesday, so its easy to see why so many take a leap of faith only to fall flat on their face. For me, it was taking my significant other to see Wolf Creek, which she viewed through closed fingers and gritted teeth. In my case the damage wasn’t catastrophic (after all she did end up marrying me) but for others it could of been the difference between securing a second date or never hearing from said individual again.

My own example excluded, horror movies have no place on this particular list, because not only does that make things too easy, but believe it or not some couples are actually into that sort of thing. The following is also not a list of bad films (on the contrary they’re all quite good) rather they’re just bad films to watch with someone you intend to impress.

Now on to the countdown!

5

500 Days of Summer (2009)

Whilst a lot lighter and more harmless than the other entries on this list, 500 Days of Summer is pretty upfront about the fact its an anti-romantic comedy, with the narration even warning the audience in the first five minutes that “This is not a love story”. And although the first half of the film is actually quite fun as Joseph Gordon-Levitt courts his very own Manic Pixie Dream Girl (Zooey Deschanel), the vibe slowly begins to subside, as the main character’s despair is reflected back in the audience.500-days-of-summer-breakup

4

Match Point (2005)

What sounds like a sexy thriller on paper, is actually quite a fucked up tale of adultery gone horribly wrong, the ‘cheat on your wife then murder your mistress and future unborn child’ kind of wrong. Erm…Spoilers! Although Scarlett Johansson heats up the screen for the boys, no girl out there is going to pine over Jonathan Rhys Meyers creep-tastic character in this film.

scarlett-johansson-naked-bed-jonathan-rhys-meyers-shirtless-sex-scene-match-point

3

Shame (2011)

A film about sex where the sex is the least sexy part. The initial sight of Michael Fassbender’s fassbender might win you some initial brownie points, but things will quickly change when he/she soon realises the main character is a truly troubled individual incapable of forming any kind of meaningful human relationship. Which coincidentally is exactly where you’ll end up emotionally after being swiftly dumped moments after leaving the cinema.shame brandon door

2

Revolutionary Road (2008)

The only thing less depressing than the slow degradation of a marriage, is the slow degradation of a marriage in 1950s Suburbia. If watching Leo and Kate fall in love in Titanic was the ultimate date movie experience, then watching them fall out of love whilst they battle the day to day frustrations of jobs they can’t stand in a neighborhood they despise is the ultimate comedown for any couple. Maybe its the multiple shouting matches, or perhaps its the shocking self abortion scene towards the end; but one things for certain, no one is getting lucky after seeing this downer of a date film.Revolutionary-Road

1

Blue Valentine (2010)

Its never a good thing when a film causes your partner to point out flaws in your own relationship after having watched it, but that’s exactly the kind of behavior this film incites, and also the reason it holds our number one spot. From the very first frame, we’re thrust into a brutally honest and painfully real fly-on-the-wall breakup of a marriage, an anti-Notebook if you will. Whether its the long, unbroken takes, the downbeat soundtrack from Grizzly Bear, or the excruciatingly awkward sex scenes; Blue Valentine cuts just a little too close to the bone. So remember, just because a movie has the word Valentine in the title, and happens to star Ryan Gosling, doesn’t mean its suitable Valentines Day viewing.blue-valentine-ryan-gosling-michelle-williams-hotel-roomThat’s all folks! What films did you take your partner to that you really wish you hadn’t? Let us know in the comments section below.

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