5
Lethal Weapon (1987)
Christmas to director Shane Black is like the human foot to Quentin Tarantino, in fact many of his films could have made this list, but you really can’t go past the one that made his name. Sure, the whole Christmas thing doesn’t really have any bearing whatsoever on the plot, but if you’re trying to sell a festive film to your father in law, this might be a safe bet.
4
Gremlins (1984)
Imagine the terrifying sight of these little bastards popping out of your stocking first thing Christmas morning. Gremlins is probably the most unabashedly fun entry on this list, and whats so great about Joe Dante’s monster movie is the way it embraces the chaos with tongue firmly in cheek. If only it were this easy to laugh during those stressful Christmas day moments when the kids are screaming, the roast has been overcooked, and grandma’s had one too many Chardonnays.
3
Bad Santa (2003)
Although somewhat tainted by the highly unnecessary and somewhat average sequel, Bad Santa remains a tar black comedy that pulls no punches, and represents Billy Bob Thornton at his gloriously offensive best. You’ll never look at a costumed Santa the same way again after witnessing Willie’s particular penchant for the three Bs: booze, bullshit, and butt-fucking.
2
Scrooged (1988)
Bill Murray is the perfect comedic antidote for anyone struggling to swallow their Christmas cheer. His deeply unhappy network executive makes Groundhog Day’s Phil look like a motivational speaker by comparison. The comedy in this remake of A Christmas Carol may be as dark as they come, but it all builds to a somewhat upbeat ending. So while relatives might hate you for putting it on in the first place, they’ll eventually be won over by Murray’s charm.
1
Die Hard (1988)
“Now I have a machine gun – HO HO HO”
Is there a more gloriously un-PC Christmas line in all of cinema? That single piece of T-shirt scrawled graffiti is so perfect a summation of what this movie is all about, it could almost serve as its unofficial tag line. Whats so great about Die Hard is it takes the cliched Christmas movie trope (Guy wants to reconcile with his family, in this case ex-wife) and flips it completely on its head. Where normally he’d be overcoming geographic obstacles like flight delays (Eg. Planes, Trains and Automobiles, Home Alone) here John McClane must fight his way through hordes of terrorists to reach his ultimate goal. Best of all, it never takes itself too seriously, and gives us the ultimate Ebenezer Scrooge in Hans Gruber (courtesy of the late, great Alan Rickman).
Merry christmas, and yippee ki-yay mutherf***kers!