TOP 5: TERRIBLE VIDEO GAME MOVIES WE SECRETLY LIKE

We all know that video game adaptations haven’t had the best track record on our screens over the years, whether it be due to a lack of respect on the studios behalf or the simple fact that maybe games should just stay games. But as terrible as Hollywood’s output has been, there’s a certain appreciation to be had from viewing some of these cinematic train wrecks. Make no mistake, we’re not claiming these films are actually good in the traditional sense, but you really can’t beat the kind of nostalgia kick you get from watching them again (while at the same time revelling in their shitiness)

Now on to the countdown!

5

Wing Commander (1999)

wing-commanderStarring a fresh faced Freddie Prince Jr. and Matthew Lillard (back when they were a thing) Wing Commander came and went faster than a Terran Confederation Ship. Trouble is, creator Chris Roberts actually directs the film, so the filmmakers only have themselves to blame for this glorious mess. Why not turn your night into a dismal double feature and pair it with other Freddie Prince faves like She’s All That or I Know What You Did Last Summer.

4

Double Dragon (1994)

lDycwBLtLAVzLMK5nUvuf01DYCrThe early to mid nineties really were the golden age of crappy video game movies, particularly ones based on fighting games, and they don’t get much crappier than Double Dragon. So why do we enjoy it so? Well for starters, there’s the chance to see a pre-Party of Five Scott Wolf, a pre-Charmed Alyssa Milano, and a post-Terminator 2 Robert Patrick (who I’m sure wishes this one could be wiped off his CV) valiantly attempt to act against a backdrop of gloriously dated visual effects and a production budget on par with an episode of Power Rangers. Still not convinced of its greatness? Then stop what you’re doing immediately and watch the trailer, complete with epic voice over from the late, great Don LaFontaine.

3

Street Fighter (1994)

Street_Fighter_Movie_12On first glance, the poster for Street Fighter makes it look like porn parody of the popular arcade game franchise, and thats quite fitting really, because the entire film is basically a porno without the sex. Just about everything in this movie rates an eleven on the campiness meter: the costume design, the fight scenes, the dialogue, and of course Kylie Minogue. And yet, all these years later you’ll still get a real kick out of seeing this gorgeously misjudged mess unfold in front of your eyes.

2

Super Mario Bros. (1993)

smb3The screenwriters behind Super Mario Bros. must of been taking some serious mushrooms while coming up with the plot of this film, which involves the brothers being transported from the present day to an alternate universe inhabited by weird looking human shaped dinosaurs, all in an effort to save the princess from an evil Denis Hopper with cornrows. It made for scary viewing as an eight year old, and as an adult its still a baffling experience from start to finish, bearing little resemblance to the bright and colourful games you remember from your childhood. For a spot on summary, check out the Honest Trailer from the folks at Screen Junkies.

1

Mortal Kombat (1995)

mortal-kombat-movieThis is the one we all wanted to see at the cinema as kids but weren’t allowed by our parents, and when we finally did it was the most awesome thing ever. Most of that initial excitement simply had to do with the fact we were seeing our favourite video game characters up on screen, rather than anything to do with the actual execution of the film. If we were judging this movie on things like “Plot” and “Characters” it would be a resounding failure. But its clear from the cheesy one liners and all round campiness that Mortal Kombat in no way takes itself seriously, making it perfectly mindless entertainment for a drunken movie night with your mates. Just don’t go drinking every time you feel the need to cringe, otherwise you’ll be face down in vomit faster than you can say “Fatality!”.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qElFyr0sBnE

Thats all folks! What video game movie adaptations do you secretly still enjoy? Sound off in the comments section below.

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